Struggles And Life Changing Decisions


These last few months have been very stressful for me. Trying to figure out how to make sure that our bills are getting paid. Supporting my wife who has been trying to find another teaching job. Going with her on all her interviews and seeing her face when nothing comes from any of the interviews is hard for me to watch her go through the emotion of being rejected. I know how this feels when you feel you put in thousands of resumes all over the countryside hoping that one will come out on the positive end. When they don’t you start to get discourage in yourself and you start to tell yourself, “Why bother trying? Every time I go for an interview I get turned down.” You start losing faith in yourself, faith in Heavenly Father and the bills just keep piling up on you. Cars start breaking down, appliances start to fall apart one by one, your house has mending repairs that need to be done, and you started a remodeling job two years ago and still have not finished because it had to be put on hold because your spouse lost his or her job because the School District didn’t renew the contract for the next school year. Then you are faced supporting your spouse in whatever their decision will be after this and you just have to ride it out hoping they figure out what they are going to do with their life after this fact. All you can do is be there for them and support and love them unconditionally.


Even though this has been a long journey for my wife and I as she seeks for another teaching position, all her effort and our enduring faith in Heavenly Father has paid off. My wife Angie had a phone interview with a Charter School in Layton, Utah. It was an hour interview over the phone. They were so impressed with her that within a couple hours after the interview she got an email stating a letter attached to return for hiring. My wife Angie will be starting her teaching for them as a first grade teacher. She will be going down to live there first since we have a lot to still finish up on the house that we have started in remodeling. We haven’t been able to finish what we started because of finances. She started to work for Walmart since her selling insurance didn’t plan out the way she hoped it would go for her. After going to work for Walmart my wife soon realized that her passion was in teaching and she wanted to get back into another class of her own. I told her that whoever hired her is the lucky ones because they are getting a top notch teacher. My wife is a gem, one of those teachers that come once in lifetime. She is one that cares about each of her students, not only in the classroom but also on the outside of the classroom. She wants to make sure that they are getting the best education that they can get. She believes how important education is to each of her students. Not only that I have seen with my own eyes the difference that she can make in one child that she works with. She has the love for little children and she is great with them.


My wife and I were walking out to our car from my Aunt and Uncle’s house who live in Layton, Utah. I turned and looked up at her and said, “Wouldn’t it be funny if we became Aunt Ellen and Uncle Kal’s neighbors?” What happens? She gets a job in Layton, Utah at the Charter School. She will be leaving the last week in July just before the Parmer Reunion. Hopefully I have the carpet pad done by then. I have time because I have my gifts done for both weddings all but the clockworks that need to be put in them. So it’s not like I don’t have the time to get it done. It’s more on the finance side of life that we are struggling with right now. Between my SSD and my wife’s paycheck from Walmart we are barely making our regular payments right now and have just enough to last between my wife’s paychecks.

But this is not what this section is about, it’s about packing up and moving. I never thought that we would doing this again. I saw us growing old in this house making the necessary changes that we’ve been working on for the last two years. Now we are faced with trying to sell our first home and trying to qualify for another home when our credit sucks right now because of one person who, when he gets depressed, feels he has to go on a spending spree and cause more debt to pile upon other debts that we’re working to pay off. I am not sure if I am ready to move from my quiet little town of St. Anthony to a big city like Layton, Utah. I seem to get one stress relief to compound another stress onto many I already have. But let me tell you about Layton, Utah as a community that I briefly found out watching a few short videos.


Layton, Utah sits right in the the middle of Davis county and the Wasatch Mountain. The population of Layton, Utah sits right at 75,000 residents in the community. Now adding two more to this number here soon. Layton, as you probably didn’t know, is the home of Hill Air Force Base, which is one that is still in operation in the United States. This is also partly one of the largest of Layton’s tax income businesses in the city growth. Layton has a great deal to offer anyone who plans on making residency here in their community. There is a great deal of employment opportunity here. They have a community rail system, along with bus system for residents to use. You never get tired of fun activities in Layton, Utah with their 150 parks and recreation facilities, you can find everything you need to enjoy the summer months outside. Their education system is ranked in high scores and team up with Davis Applied Technology to offer courses at the high school level to give those students a jump start into their future. Layton has Davis Applied Technology and two other online schools at your disposal. Along with these three institutions, Layton also houses Weber State University in their community. So it’s a great place to also expand your education after high school and stay local within your own community of people for higher education. Layton, Utah also has good psychical health facilities that care about their community’s well being. The community itself has a motto that they live by: “Doing better by working together.”

Even though I am going to miss our little community atmosphere here in St. Anthony, I am going to miss the quiet atmosphere that surrounds our community here in St. Anthony. I am especially going to miss being so close to the sand dunes that it’s like having both places to live here at the same time. I am talking about when my parents moved me and my siblings over to the Oregon cost. I grew to love the town of Florence and it will always be home to me. That is where I finished my education out and there are a great deal of memories that go with that town. Some are friends that I was finally able to make and keep. But also the freedom to go down on the beach in the early morning hours and walk or run the beach and feel the cool breeze coming off the ocean floor; smelling the fresh salt water air was able to relax me to give me time to think things through; allow me to release all my anger that was building up inside of me. Here in St. Anthony we have the Dunes we can ride and the bike path along the Snake River bank along the highway 20. Home of Big J’s hamburgers, the best burgers that money can buy. Home of the Fisherman’s breakfast that is free to whomever so up at 6 a.m. until 2 p.m. in the afternoon on Memorial Day. Every memorial weekend along with Pioneer Days and the big parade we have here. Then there is our Fourth of July celebration that we have here. The car show that is held at Henry’s Fork Park across the bridge. There are a lot of community activities here in St. Anthony and a lot of love, support, volunteer work from the community members. We are one big family here in St. Anthony. I never felt like I would come to love such a place like I have and the residents here. I will forever miss the warmth and comfort that you all have brought to my wife and I. Since we have moved here we have been welcomed into the community with open arms. Our church members have been wonderful to my and wife and I. I tip my hat off to the members of St. Anthony 3rd Ward and thank you from the bottom of my heart for welcoming my wife and I into your family with open arms. Your warmth and love has meant the world to my wife and I. We are now bound by Heavenly Father and our Savior Jesus Christ to move forward in our lives. I know this is where He needs us to be at this time. Our new journey will soon begin, leaving our old journey behind us. No matter where we are, I will forever love each and every member in the St. Anthony 3rd Ward. May God bless you all in the things you are in need of. May He watch over you and protect you in all your endeavors. God speed my dear friends and God speed to the St. Anthony community. Layton, Utah watch out here come the Whites to your community. This brings me to my final words for this month. There are going to be times you have to forgo plans you are doing in order to let others who you love unconditionally accomplish their dreams. Don’t give up hope of not achieving that goal/dream you started, just put it on hold for the time being to allow this person to fulfill their dream. Go on to support them. This is the right thing to do.


I had a dream one evening about starting a newspaper right in St. Anthony, Idaho. Well I decided to announce it over social media to see what other people would think about starting a newspaper here in our community. To my surprise I got a great deal of responses from the community and I had three people volunteer to help me out getting the newspaper up and running. I was hoping that my wife would have gotten a teaching position here in Idaho. But because they who she applied to felt she was not what they were looking for she had to start looking outside the box for a teaching position. She landed one in Layton, Utah. So it goes, I have to put my project on hold for the time being. The “St. Anthony Herald”, like many of my other projects I got started, never made it to their finishing stage to see the outcome of their success. This is how life goes; you have to go where the other spouse gets employment regardless of what you have going. You both covenant with each other by witnesses and presence of God that you would support each other through the good and bad. Through career choices you both make together. You are a team and that means the one goes with the other when one gets a better offer than the one you both have at that time. I am putting off my project to support my wife and moving on. If God meant for it to happen he would have made it possible that we would stay here and he didn’t and there is my answer to my question. That leaves the hardest thing that my wife and I have to do is one I thought I wouldn’t be facing again.


That time has come again. I never thought after purchasing our home that we would ever be moving again. I thought for sure, finally I can relax and put my feet up and enjoy my life right here in St. Anthony. But no, Heavenly Father knew of another plan for us and that we would be moving away from both sets of my parents again. Having to say goodbye and moving far distance is not going to be easy for me. I can’t speak for my wife because I am not sure what she is feeling right at this moment. It has been great to be close to both sets of parents once again. To be able to see them has been a blessing. My main concern is who is going to help mom with dad? His heath is not getting better and mom isn’t the same either. I’m trying to prepare myself for when one goes I will be prepared for it. I love both of my parents with all my heart and soul. They both have stood behind me in all the trouble that I have caused them throughout my life. To the both of you, stay strong and healthy. May Heavenly Father be with you always, comfort your hearts and your soul. God speed.


In conclusion I have to say even though bad things tend to come in threes, I have come out of this situation stronger than I have ever been. Even though there have been times that my thoughts may have wavered whether He’s hearing my prayers at night and during the day, I know that Heavenly Father has been with us this whole time, that He has been walking with us all the time. We were blind to what He was trying to show us or tell us at various times throughout our life. Do not doubt that He is there. It just feels that He is not answering our payers. He is! Sometimes we are so focused on what we want in our hearts that we cannot hear Him speak to us the way we should be able to. This is because we are not reading the scriptures on a daily basis. That we are not taking the time to study over the talks given by our general body of the church, and last but not least we are not attending the temple. This goes for members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. For all other Christians who are not members of the Church, read your scriptures, pray continually, be an example unto the world, and fulfill you callings as necessary. By doing these things we will hear His voice speak through the Holy Spirit by having faith He will answer. He loves all of us and what happens to each individual on this planet we live on and dwell on. Just remember He (God) is all knowing in the heavens and the earth. Alex Hwejh wrote a definition down for a phrase he summed up in his book “Destined to Win: Inspiration for Winning in Turbulent Times.” His book talks about rising above adversity in your life and how to make the negative things work for you and make you a stronger person to accomplish your goals, your dreams in life that you were born into. How to be successful in your life. What you can do to be able to be successful in your life to achieve those goals that you set for yourself. To rise above the ashes and become the mighty person that you want to be by using simple methods that he shares in his book. By looking at life in a more positive way through accepting Jesus Christ into our lives and following his examples in the Bible or written word. By following Heavenly Father’s plan that He has for us and doing His will first then ours. In 2019 Hwejh says, “In order to be successful, you first need to make a decision to succeed by obeying God’s command and study his word” (p. 89). Every person who wants to be successful in this life, must do this basic simple little thing in their life. If you wonder what is missing in your life right now, it is this. I put God the Father and His son Jesus Christ first and foremost into my life. They are my center of my life. They are the ones I follow through all of my adversity that comes into my life. I may struggle with stress and Depression, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, and High Autism but I get through all these things because I put these two beings before anything else in my life. That is how I make it through each day of my life. I know when I read His words I come closer to Him and I feel His presence with me more than ever. What scares people away from the truth is truth itself. They know the truth before they go to His word. Just when they do read His words their sins become reality to them. For the first time they see what truly have been doing in the sight of God the Father. Even for me this is reality. None of us are perfect in this world. There is only one who was perfect and He gave His life for all mankind’s sins upon the cross and in the Garden of Gethsemane. We have to learn to forgive ourself for our own sins that we have committed and ask Him to forgive us and go and do them no more. As Christ told the prostitute when he picked her up from them stoning her and asked her, “where are they who persecute you?” And she responded back, “I know not where they who persecuted me.” Then Christ told the lady, “I forgive you and go and commit your sin no more.” We can do the same. This day we need to decide whether we are going to put God first into our lives and start by reading His word so that we can become the person that we want to be and the person that God the Father hoped that we would become.

This is what I have learned through all my trials that I have endured this past month. They have only begun and I have many more yet to come. But I am ready to take them head on and do what I can with the knowledge and skills I have but also putting God first and His words. My final words to all of you: stay strong in this corrupt world we live in. It is not going to get better unless we change ourselves and our way of thinking and our way life we are living. Until these things happen nothing will get better in this world. It is up you and I to make the difference between life and death. Which side are you on? Life, which is the light of Christ, or death, which is with Lucifer (Satan) as we all know him by. You decide this day who’s side you are on.

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