If you ever find yourself having to be separated from your spouse for a certain amount of time from one of you getting a new job out the state and have to move one-first to the new location so they can start their new position while you stay behind to take care of business on the home front. You might be wonder how we do it the transition and how we handle the situation.
I know that my older sister and her husband live in two households. Not by choice that is what they want out of their marriage but one has a good-paying job in one town and the other one cannot find work in that town and the only job that her husband can find is working for the family business. He goes home on the weekends and comes back over on the weekdays and live in a small camp trailer behind his in-law’s place. Sometimes you have to do what works for both of you even if it is hard on both of you and you want to come home to your spouse after long days work.
My wife and I have had to adjust to her moving first to our new location because of the job that she has taken on. While I have stayed behind to finish up a remodeling job that we started on our house that we purchase when we first moved to Saint Anthony. Which a teaching position that my wife took on after she graduated with her Master Degree in Early Childhood, with the inefficient in Special Education. When the District did not renew her teaching contract she decided that she had enough of teaching and dealing with politics that went along with being a teacher. She decided to try her hand into selling life insurance and she soon found out that is wasn’t as easy as she thought it would be. She finally had to look for another job and was hired at Walmart as a cashier this is when she realized that her passion was in teaching and began to look for a teaching position again. She was hoping to find one locally so we wouldn’t have to move but everyone that was looking in Idaho hired within the school district or someone else. My wife had to look outside the box and broaden her search outside of Idaho where she finally landed a first-grade position in Utah. It is like I told her we will go and help Utah build their education system up and help them succeed in their education since Idaho didn’t want to hire my wife as a teacher. Idaho loss in gaining a great teacher to their staff but a win to Utah in grabbing a great teacher who has the love and passion for teaching and for each of her students that come in contact with her.
Since school starts here soon we had to find a place for my wife to reside in Utah will she works her new job and while I stay back and finish the remodeling project in our house and get it ready to be put on the market to sell it. As we embark on our new journey this first couple of weeks apart from each other has been really hard to adjust.
This is the first time we have been really apart from each other since we have been married. This has been really hard because we won’t be able to see each other for weeks at a time due financial situation that we are in. I won’t be able to move down there until we can purchase another home due to all the rules and regulations that the apartment complex has that you have to follow. Plus we have five cats and you are only allowed one pet per household in the complex and we are not going to rid of our cats. They are our children and part of our family. The sad part in the city of Layton, Utah you are only allowed two pets per household and again we will have just play by ear when we purchase our home and move in that our cats stay inside the house that way no one will know how many pets we have.
Living in to separate household is very hard because of your use to having your spouse right next to you at night in your bed. The one person you can snuggle to and feel safe from the outside world. The thing my wife has a hard time with is coming home to an empty home and not seeing my presence there to greet her after work. This is hard on me because I look forward to her to come home and I come into an empty house and very quiet it not the same without seeing her beautiful smile in the morning and in the evening.
The other thing that you both have fear of when you have to household and living apart is how faithful will they be to you. Can you trust them enough that they won’t cheat on you and how hard it is to take their words that they won’t? This is when you have to trust in Heavenly Father and have faith in him and your partner that they will honor their words that they promise to you. It is hard because you are here and they are there but if your marriage is built upon trust and honor from the beginning you shouldn’t have to worry about either partner cheating on each other because they will honor their vows they took when they stood in front of the preacher or knelt at the alter in The Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints temples.
The thing you have to do is keep yourself busy throughout the day and keep your mind focus on what you’re out to achieve. Never let the Lucifer enter your thoughts at any time. Do not put yourself in a situation that temptation will cross your mind. Never be alone with the opposite sex. Remember the vows and honor that you took for your companion that you truly feel in love with. The time apart may seem like an eternity but if keep yourself busy doing what you supposed to do the time will be short. Having two households has its challenges, but it also can have blessed as well. The time apart from each other will more likely bring you more closely together to appreciate what you have and really realize what that person means to you. Yes, two households have its challenges and drawbacks but sometimes you have to do what is best for your family and for your well being. Even this means moving away from close family. My wife and I will be apart for six months but coming together at least once or twice a week during each month as it is permitting us to do so with the financial situation that we are in. I am in the middle of trying to sell my pickup to off some passed due debts that we have fallen behind on and hopefully by the time I ready to move down to Utah with my wife I will be able to afford to buy another pickup. Time will tell all things when we get the far in our journey we are embarking in at this time.
This whole month has been a busy month for both of us. Between moving my wife down to Utah. We went out to Oregon to my Nephew John and his finance Savanah wedding with my parents. I am amazed that we made it there in one piece and home in one piece. I am never going to travel with my parents again. I love them to death but they can get on your nerves at times. The wedding was a very beautiful wedding. I am glad that I was able to make it out there for my nephew wedding. Then we had a family reunion this month and this is the first time I was up there without my wife being with me and it was very hard to deal with not having my better half with me. In all that is going on in my life from the moving transition to being separated with my wife at this time, I am handling this transition pretty good. Better than I thought I would. I still worry about her being alone and I am so far away that if anything did happen to her I wouldn’t be able to protect her like I would if we are together. That is why I have to ut my faith in Heavenly Father that he will watch over her for me and protect her from any harm coming to her. Believe me, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if anything happens to my beautiful loving wife. She is my world my Rock my everything to me. I would move heaven and earth to make sure she is safe from harm. This is how much I love her.
Yes, two households are not easy. I will be the first to admit it. But with Heavenly Father with you all the time walking with him at your side the transition can be easier than you think it can. All we work out on his time and in his way. We just have to keep the faith that he knows all things and will make sure everything will be in its place to where both you can be together forever.