I would like to take a step back from writing about my personal life and talk about a subject that many of us have faced with either a friend, love one, or yourself, have faced this word in your own life.
For myself I have been in some very low and dark places in my life that I have felt the only way out of them was taking my own life. I thought that suicide was the only answer to my solution to my problems that I was dealing with in my life. I still face those demons often when I get into a downward spiral that I get overwhelmed with everyday life and my only solution to deal with the problem would be to end my life.
That way I would not have to deal with fighting the demons in my head, having to wake up every day and facing the fact that in order to function with a clear head, that I have to stay on medication for the rest of my life. Even with taking my medication I still have those days or months that I get overwhelmed dealing with everything going on in my life that I feel like it would be better to end my life, rather than loved ones suffering from my mistakes that I cannot seem to think straight and make sense out of any situation in my life without getting help all the time to make sure that I don’t make the wrong choices.
Why do so many of us think that suicide is the answer to our problems that we are dealing with? What are some signs that a person may be thinking about suicide? What can we watch out for in a person when they are thinking these thoughts in their head? The one thing that keeps me from going all the way with even attempting suicide is I begin to think about my family and how they would feel that I had taken my life. This may not work for everyone out there. This is how I pull myself out from dark and low places of suicide thoughts.
I wanted to talk about this topic because again I lost a family member to suicide and I am left with thoughts of what could we have done differently to have helped him or her from going this far? What was going through their mind when they pulled the trigger, cut their wrist, tried to hang themselves, or find another way to make suicide easier to go through with before taking their own life in the end?
We are left to grieve and try to make sense out of all that lead up to the person to take their own life and we never find the answer that we are seeking for. We may be seeking down a dead-end road because we are never in that person’s mind at the time that they do attempt or succeed with suicide.
According to Schimelpfening (2020), there may be clear warning signs and you may wonder what clues you might have missed. There are often many factors combined to lead a person to the decision to take their own life. We can look at a person that a storm is brewing inside them that has strong emotions and life stresses rather than carefully thinking things through they explode inside. As I explain, when I get overloaded with so much stress that I’m not sure how to deal with them all at one time my brain tends to stop thinking about them and finding solutions to the problem. The thing is I have had loved ones that have been here for me so I often think about them at this time. I have another resource that I turn to and He is always here to help us in these times. Often times a person gets too overwhelmed with everything they are trying to deal with and is at the point they are no longer thinking clearly in their life to really stop and think things through rationally before they do commit suicide.
There are many reasons that we can look into why a person would commit suicide. The most common one is severe depression. A person who is going to commit suicide will make the decision shortly before doing impulsively rather than planning it out extensively.
We need to understand a person who has deep depression can make them feel great emotional pain and loss of hope that they are unable to see clearly past what they are about to do or in a way to relieve the pain other than ending their life. I have been in that stage of my life many times and still find myself fighting with deep depression at times that I find it hard to bring myself out of this thought of taking my own life. According to American Foundation for Suicide Prevention depression is present in about half of all suicides.
There are other mental illnesses besides depression which can play a role in suicide. Depression is one of the largest factors that plays into most suicides in the world today. For example, a person who is schizophrenic may hear voices inside them that will make them believe that suicide is the only way out of the whole problem. Bipolar disorder is another neurological disorder that may cause a person to commit suicide. A person with Bipolar like myself may have highs and lows that we deal with in our life every day and this can play a big factor in a person wanting to commit suicide. Borderline personality disorder is another high rate of suicide. Eating disorder is another high risk of suicide. These are just a few neurological disorders that can play a big part into a person trying to commit suicide.
A person that has gone through some type of traumatic experience is one who will likely attempt suicide. This includes childhood sexual abuse, physical abuse, or war trauma, are among those who will commit suicide.
According to Schimelpfening (2020), In a survey of nearly 6,000 U.S. adults, nearly 22% of people who have been raped had attempted suicide at some point while 23% who experienced physical assault tried to take their own life at some point. We can look into those who use drugs and alcohol as another cause a person may decide to commit suicide.
Drugs and alcohol can also influence a person who feels suicidal to make impulsive and more likely to act upon their urges than they would while sober. Using these two substances can have a great effect on a person’s way of thinking. Also losing a job or a relationship. The rate of substance abuse among those with depression and neurological disorders are also high. You put these things together and you will have a higher risk of suicide. We can also have thoughts of suicide when we have a loss or a fear of loss in our own life.
According to Schimelpfening (2020), A person may decide to take their own life when facing a loss or the fear of a loss. These situations can include:
- Ending a romantic relationship or close friendship
- Losing a job or being unemployed and unable to find a sufficient source of steady income
- Financial problems
- Losing social position
- Losing your living situation due to financial reasons or the ending of a relationship
- Academic failure
- Losing social or family acceptance due to revealing your sexual orientation
- Bullying, shaming, or humiliation, including cyberbullying
- Being arrested or imprisoned
All these that I talk about and even more situations become reasons that a person may commit suicide. Sometimes it’s a way of crying out for help which in more cases than not a person succeeds in his suicide and by this time it is too late and we are left with the question of ‘Why’ or ‘Could I have done more to prevent him or her committing suicide?’
It is not that they want to die they just don’t know how to reach out for help before they go through with suicide. Suicide is not a cry for attention, it is a cry for help. This is a way to show the world how much they are really hurting. More often than not these cries for help end in fatal consequences if the person misjudges the lethality of their chosen method. Those who have attempted suicide and failed the first time more likely will attempt suicide again. Their second attempt is more likely to be lethal.
Even though we see a person who committed suicide had everything to live for, the person who committed suicide didn’t see it that way. This is often the case when someone commits suicide, they don’t see their self-worth in the world anymore and the clear answer to them is to take their own life. Leaving loved ones and friends and family wondering what we could have done more to help them not to take their life. The only thing that we can do is pick ourselves up and move forward with our lives. We may never fully understand why a person wants to commit suicide. We can sit and try to piece their life together by trying to understand what they were going through at the time they committed suicide or piece together what they were going through in their life that got them to this point, but we will still never fully understand why a person committed suicide.
Unless we know exactly what the person was going through in their head, we will never comprehend truly why a person decides to commit suicide to solve their problems they are going through. My advice to those out there we may not know what a person is going through or when a person is at a breaking point of taking their life. What we can do is make sure that we leave our doors open to let them know if they are dealing with issues they’re not sure how to deal with, that you are there to be a listening ear to whatever they may need help with. A person may look fine on the outside, but inside the person is what is really hurting, and it just takes one simple situation to set them going over the deep end. We are all mortal men created in His image. Because we think as mortal men, we tend act upon mortal thoughts and emotions rather than eternal thoughts and emotions when it comes to other people’s feelings. What they are going through in their life at any given time.
What I am saying is we have a big issue right now with suicide in the global world that we need to figure out what we can do to make sure these people are getting the help they need before they attempt suicide. Life is worth more than taking our own life. We as mortal man have so much to offer to the world that life is not over because we cannot find an answer to our solution in this troubled world. There is help out there if we just seek a way to find help. Life is not at a loss because you have failed, or others have failed you. God has never failed us and when mortal men can learn to understand this there is more to living than taking one’s life in suicide. Believe it from someone that has looked death in the face many times in life to be the answer to all my failures in my life and my lows, stressed out, overloaded brain. I deal with so many neurological disorders that if I can pull myself up out of lows and bring myself back to believe that I am worth something in this life then you all can do it if we work together on preventing more suicides to occur.
Schimelpfening, N. (2020). Why do people commit suicide? Retrieved from: https://www.verywellmind.com/why-do-people-commit-suicide-1067515