What is a Best Friend

Friendship

What does it mean to have a friendship? What does this word mean to you? We often make friends in this life, but sometimes those friends turn into becoming a best friend that you can turn to for any means of support. Even when your best friend needs your support and often times they do not realize it at that time, you reach out to them to try and comfort them in ways you have done in the past. It is unfortunate then, when they take it the wrong way and your best friend you’re trying to comfort takes offense to what you felt was trying to comfort them in a way to show them what they truly have been blessed with in their life.

Then this best friend uses this against you to backstab you in words that she writes that is directed towards you and you know actually what they are talking about. What is your reaction going to be towards this best friend? This is one example of what a best friend can do to you.

Another example of a best friend hurting you and leaving you in question of what you did that she or he wrote a letter and tells you never to contact them again. You are left wondering “what did I say or do to make this person write this letter?” You’re left wondering “where did I go wrong in our friendship that caused this to come about?”

Let me take a step back and explain what it means to be a friend in the first place then I will build upon at least 8 traits that a best friend should have, why it is important to have these qualities in a best friend and why it is important in our life that we often make them best friends. What is a friend to you?

Best Friends

In the Merriam Webster Dictionary it describes a friend as, “One attached to another by affection or esteem – She’s my best friend” (Merriam Webster, 2018). What does this mean? That as human beings we attach ourselves to certain people that we have a closeness to. Someone that we can relate our darkest secrets to that we know that they will keep them to themselves and never reveal them to anyone else. A friend is not like your spouse that you live and breathe with on a daily basis. A friend is one that you have closeness to like a brother or sister but deeper than those siblings’ ties.

I often wonder what we think of the Savior Jesus Christ as being to us. Do we look at him as a friend that we can trust our secrets to that he will guide us out of darkness when we have fallen into the pit of no return? My answer to this is Yes, I do see him as a friend that we can turn to. I hope that is with you as well. We should be able to count on our best friend always being there in times that we need them the most. They pull us out of the dark despair and bring us into the light of Christ that we as their best friend will not take offense when reaching out to us by saying what is on their mind. We need to listen with an open heart to what they are saying to us. They are our best friend that we have always been able to turn to in time of needs.

Often times we are blind to our own self worth. In these times we need to learn to lean on our best friends to help us pull through these troubled times. We should never feel like they coming at us with a two edge sword. Your best friend always feels your pain you are going through. They have been there in the past in your darkest days as you endured trials as a teen going through adolescence. They may be going through the same things you are going through, but they are dealing with their own demons and yet, they seem to always reach out when they feel we need it most. This is truly what a best friend is. One that is always there, one that will in time find forgiveness in their hearts for all the wrongs they caused you, ones that no matter how much you have hurt them, by putting a knife in their back with hurtful words, they deep down forgive you because their love for friendship means more to them than anything in this world. There are two stories that I want to share with you. One is personally tied to me and the other one is one I read on Facebook that three high school girls became best friends and two had become hateful towards the other girl. They had a fall out but the one girl thought they had worked through their differences but she found out the hard way how the two deceived her and took her life.

My Life Time Best Friend From Middle School

I am going back to my middle school days. At the time my parents moved our family out to Oregon where I would begin my last year of grade school and enter my first year of middle school. Moving to a new town you have to start all over to rebuild a friendship with the kids that you go to school with. I was not one who could make friends very easily. I was very quiet and mostly kept to myself. We lived out of town in the country where our parents rented a bean shack. It was not much of a home to speak of but to me it was home. This is where I would make contact with the person that would later in my life become best friends. We would write to each other on a weekly basis and when she came out to college we spent time together going to Yellowstone National Park and doing what best friends do best: spending time together. Even after we went our separate ways we stayed in contact with each other, sharing our life with one another. Before I go on I need to tell how we met the first time and then where our friendship really took off.

It was an early morning and I was getting ready to catch the bus to go school. This person I will call Samantha, lived three houses down from us on the same road in the country. She was a little older than I was but I can remember this day like it was yesterday. I got on the bus first and as the bus move closer to her house the bus started to get full. As we approached her house and she got on the bus, she tried to find a seat but nobody would let her sit with them. I scooted over and offered my seat to her. That was my first encounter with Samantha. We only spoke briefly that day, but my older sister would babysit her cousin a couple of times. We moved from the country road out on Compton Lane in a trailer house that my parents purchased and that was where we started to plant our roots.

My dad was injured due to my stubbornness of not going out to help unload his tool chest. He was laid up from work because he broke his arm. He finally got another job and we moved again which would not be our final move. Again adjusting to a new school was hard on me but I did what I could to make it work out. It would be at this time while attending a young adult dance that was put on by one of our wards in the local area at the time I decided to attend.

I traveled to the dance and I knew several people there by face recognition but that is all I could tell you. To my surprise I looked across the dance floor and I recognized one face in particular that I knew for sure. I didn’t know that she had joined the church. I worked my way over to where she was standing and introduced myself to her. We stood and talked and she let me know who was there and that she and her cousin had joined the church. Well from that point on began our long friendship that we built over years of communicating by letters sharing everything that was going on. Like I said we even spent time doing things together when she came out to college.

We stayed in touch with each other over the years. Even after I went on a mission and she went on a mission for our church. Even after I got married we stayed in touch with each other. That is how much our friendship meant to each other. She was there when I was going through the roughest time in my marriage and ended up going through a divorce with my first wife.

You know how they say not to express your true feelings to your best friend? Well I finally realized that through all our writing and time we spent together I wanted to move our friendship to the next level. I wrote Samantha a letter expressing my deepest feelings for her. What I got in return was not what I was expecting and the letter she sent back in response left me to wonder what I said to have her cut all ties to our friendship. I was a good friend, I listened to her words and never made any attempt to contact her for years. When Facebook was started up you could contact anyone and everyone on there. I decided to try and look up Samantha for the first time and when I found her and tried to make small talk with her she disappeared off of Facebook. I knew then that it wasn’t the time to try and mend what friendship we had, that I had broken it from a simple letter expressing my true feeling towards her. It wasn’t until 2014 when my wife and I had moved to Nampa, Idaho that I decided to look up Samantha again. To my surprise she made me friends and we began to speak to each other again. I still to this day walk on ice with what I say to her posts and I talk with her. Her friendship means the world to me and I have forgiven her for the past. It was me who was in the wrong in the first place. I never should have expressed my true feelings to her. Samantha explained why she sent the letter to me: she listened to her older sister who told her to cut all ties to me.

I don’t care why she did what she did. I am grateful to have her friendship back into my life. She has brought great joy and peace into my life. To see and hear what she is doing makes me feel good inside. She has her dark days that she has had to overcome in her life since we parted ways.

But she has come out on top because of the gospel of Jesus Christ in her life and testimony that she has gained in her own trials she has gone through. We share our daily post on our feeds what we are doing. We do not text as we did when we first became friends and this is okay with me. Like I said it’s good to have Samantha back in my life as we begin to mend a broken friendship that I never wanted to break in the first place.

This is what true friendship is, forgiving one another for wrongs you have done in the past. Not to hold a grudge against the other for something so small. Friends like this only come once in a lifetime. Especially one like ours was and is. Not as close as I hoped that our friendship would be, but I’m ok with this because I am grateful to have her in my life again and on speaking terms. The second story I’d like to share with you, before I share what 8 qualities a best friend should have, ended in tragedy for these three friends.

Three Girlfriends Who Were Best Friends

This second story is found here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Skylar_Neese. I hope that our friendship does not end up like this girl’s did, with her two best friends that she trusted her life with, who would go above and beyond for her two friends no matter what the cost may be. Are we willing to follow our best friend to plot and kill the other best friend over some small disagreement that you all have had? Just think about these two stories and how much your friendship means to you. May we find other ways to forgive our friends than this way of doing it. I found that one person defines 8 characteristics of best friends and another article explains 12 qualities that a best friend should have. I will only share 8 out the 20 that I found online that a friend should have to be qualified as a best friend.

8 Qualities or Characteristics a Best Friend Should Have

1. Telepathy

This is where your friend has the uncanny ability to read your mind before the words pop out of your mouth. Just by glancing at each other, you can know what each other is thinking.

2. Honesty

Whether you’re about to jump off Mount Everest and leap into the adventure of a life time, your friend is there to give you their real opinion. While we might think that what they say may be a bit harsh or may be in the danger zone or may even disagree with us at times, your best friend won’t hide their views, especially if they think it is for your best interest. It’s like I tell my friends that I will not sugar coat it for you, I will speak my mind and you take or leave it, it is your choice to do with whatever advice that I speak to you.

3. Genuine

According to Argintar (2014), “She’a true-blue friend; the kind that won’t talk behind your back when there’s an issue between the two of you, but she can come to you about it, instead.

You will commiserate over the silliest things together that you both find humorous, even though the two of you love being around each other’s company.”

It has never been a chore to have her over, you’ll never feel like neither of you have to entertain one another when you are over at each other’s place. You are always looking for plans how to do things together. This is how you both know the other is the real deal.

4. Acceptance

We need to feel like we are accepted into this world by someone close to us. This is why we accept best friends as one of these people into our life. Around this person you can be abnormal without trying to explain yourself to them. You can be your weird, goofy self around your best friend. You won’t feel like running in the other direction.

Argintar (2014) says, ”She’s got her own bizarre set of hobbies, too, and that’s why you both work so well together” (p. 1).

5. Trust

The secrets, fears, and deep thoughts are some of those that a best friend will only share with you. They have their trust in you that whatever they tell you stays with you always. You know whatever you tell your best friend will always stay in the vault. This information will never be used against you or ever try to hurt you in any way.

6. Encouragement

Who better to lift you up when you are at your lowest in your life? Your bestie is who thinks that you’re awesome and is there to lift your spirit up when you are down. Your best friend is your personal cheerleader, they are there to remind you of the great things you have to offer the world around you, your family, your friends, your co-workers, your self worth to yourself. We need to focus on the positive attributes that make you shine. Like my older sister tells me all the time to think on the positive things that you have accomplished in your life and not all the negative. The negative is what weighs us down on life’s highway. A friend is always there to remind us of the positive, the good things we have in our life we can offer others around us.

7. Steadfastness

A true best friend will always have your back! No matter what is said they will always be there to help you carry the load. This is why we have the Savior Jesus Christ as our best friend. He has always been there carrying the load for us, ever since he carried his own cross to be crucified. When he went into the Garden of Gethsemane, He took upon himself the sins of the world. He has had our back ever since that time. Our Creator has had our our back from the time we were born into this world until we pass on to the next life. All we have to do is knock and it shall be opened unto us. Our burdens will be lifted from us, all we have do is ask for their help as we do to our best friend upon this earth. We have the choice to accept what they have to say or pass the message on like it was never spoken. It is up to us how we handle the situation placed before us. Just as our creator and Christ has given us freedom to make our choices upon this earth. Friedam (2015) said, “You know that when you need your friend to be there for you, they are present without fail” (p. 2). As James Taylor and Carol King sing:

You just call out my name

And you know wherever I am

I’ll come running to see you again

Winter, spring, summer or fall

All you have to do is call

And I’ll be there

Yes I will

You’ve got a friend

8. Respect

Argintar (2014) says, “She won’t always agree with you (Who does?), but she’ll always welcome your cares and will see to it that you get back up.”

You always do or say anything and she will not behave any differently towards you, like when you find out something that your best friend did in high school and response to this is “That kind of genius, though.” We all have mistakes we make or do something stupid, or may say things we do not mean to, in the times that we are hurting the most. We often read into things that are not there, we don’t understand our best friend’s true feelings or try to understand them, or we do understand them and try to express our feelings about the subject that our best friend is dealing with at the time and they misread what we are trying share with them and blow it out of proportion. Then they go off and backstab them and make the situation even worse than what really could or should have been if we had only taken time to think about what has been said. It is having respect for the other person’s feelings and stepping back and looking at the whole picture to what your best friend is trying to do in the situation you are in.

Conclusion

These are just 8 of the 20 qualities or characteristics that should be found in a best friend. A best friend is that person who will stick with you through thick and thin situations. They may speak their peace or mind but it’s up to us how we receive their words of encouragement that will break the camel’s back on our best friends friendship. Like I personally tell my friends, when they ask for advice I will give my advice to them. “I am going to give my two cents into your situation, take or leave it. It is up to you what you do with what I have to say on this matter.” I will be up front and speak my mind on the matter and they live with what I have to say or they can take and leave on the side of road and move on but those are my final words.

Who would we be without our friends by our side? From an early age, friends teach us the ropes, gives us the building blocks to learn how to give, love, and face life’s up and downs. Fagan (2012) said, “We often take for granted how precious a thing it is to be best friend, how many people can’t freely use that term, how many have never experienced that very particular kind of love” (p. 1). Jesus Christ taught us by his personal example how we can have love for a friend. He showed us time and time again through his disciples and those whom he came in contact with what a true friend was. How many of us get the chance to have a bond of best friend with love that is untouchable, that nothing will ever separate what we have built over a life time together? Are we willing to allow a simple disagreement come between this friendship that we worked so hard to build over a lifetime of blood sweat and tears? Is it worth that much to throw away a friendship that you have taken so long build upon a trust for each other?

So many wait for a cue from their most beloved friend to be able to tack on the profound, terrifying modifier of “best.” who wants to be the person who prematurely proclaims the other their one-and-only-best-friend, when they were not ready to take that leap themselves? It’s the “I love you” platonic relationships, and to be able to declare that with someone is privilege not bestowed upon everyone. (Fagan, 2012, p. 1)

I am grateful that I was able to mend my friendship with Samantha because this means the world to me. I have lost too many best friends without getting to share my true self with them. The person that Christ taught me to be when I first came this earth. That my mother bestowed upon me as a child of God. As true Christian upon this earth how grateful I am for those friends I have had and have today in my life, that I’m able to let myself shine through the dark clouds above to share with them who I am. That I’m free to feel safe with those friends I have I can share my secrets with them and know they are safe with them. To have this honor to have this chance in this life to find a best friend like this is a true honor to be able to put “best” in front of friends. I challenge each of you that read this blog that you take time and mend the wound between your best friends today, that you have peace in your hearts and joy that you can mend the wounds between you. You cannot ask for someone better than having a best friend to turn to.

Reference

Argintar, L. (2014). 12 qualities the person you call your best friend should be. Retrieved from https://www.elitedaily.com/women/12-qualities-the-person-you-call-your-bestie-should-have

Fagon, C. (2012). What it means to be best friend. Retrieve from https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-fagan/2012/08/what-it-means-to-be-a-best-friend/

Friedman, S. (2015). The 8 defining characteristic of a best friend. Retrieved from https://www.goodnet.org/articles/8-defining-characteristics-best-friend

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Walt Disney Trip

This was my wife and I’s first real vacation since we have been married for almost 7 years. This will be one vacation I will cherish in time as it was my first time visiting Disneyland in California. You heard me right, my first time being to Disneyland since I have been born. My parents were not wealthy when my siblings and I were growing up and our vacations were spent coming out to Idaho to visit our grandparents every summer.

When I became an adult I was never financially able to afford to go to Disneyland. As a family we grew up watching Disney every Sunday on television. I had the chance while in Primary Children’s Hospital to be able to see most of the old Disney movies as kid. My favorite character out of all of his characters is Mickey Mouse

I told my wife when I got to see Mickey Mouse for the first time I was going to tell him that I have waited my whole life to meet you, but I was too excited to finally see him in person that I forgot what I was going to do.

My time at Disneyland in California was amazing. It is amazing to see how they have brought what Walt Disney himself brought to life from the big screens to an amusement park that the whole family can come and enjoy. We spent three days there and then we went on down south to Hemet, California to visit my mother-in-law and surprised her for a belated Mother’s Day gift.

My wife planned the whole vacation for us. She was bound and determined to get me to see Disneyland so I could experience the thrill to be there. Our first day at Disneyland, she walked us (when I talk about us, I am talking about our four legged pets) and my wife and I went over to Downtown Disney and walked through it for our first day. This helped us decide how our pets would be able to handle to walk this much and we decided that they would be better off staying in the motel in their dog kennel where it was cool.

I was very impressed by the size of the area that Walt Disney has down there. I have seen it on television, but never been there in person. I did not think I was going to be able to walk the whole thing the first day either. With having blown both knees out playing sports in high school, it’s hard for me to find comfortable enough shoes that I can walk all day and not have my knees start to bother me.

Walking from our motel over to Disneyland was a very long trek. Especially since there are no buses that run over there other than the tram that goes to the parking lot, which you can only get out of it if you have a car. So we walked all three days over and back to our motel. We walked through the different shops that they had downtown.

Back up for a minute here. My wife decided to drive all the way through to California. We were going to stop in a truck stop and sleep in our car because she budgeted just for the one motel and to get into Disneyland and gas to get us over there and back home. When we finally got to Anaheim, California my wife proceeded to drive around to find a place to sleep because our check-in time was not until mid afternoon the next day. I finally talked her into seeing if we could get in at that time. I knew she only budgeted for three days in the motel but we did not use all the money that she thought we would driving over to California for gas. So we finally got into our room and we crashed. We would get up to go down to have their complimentary breakfast which consisted of pastry and cold or hot cereal. This is what we would have for the next couple of days.

Our second day at Disneyland my wife booked us breakfast with Disney Characters and that was well worth our money. We got pictures with Minnie Mouse, Fairy Godmother, Max, Captain Hook, Eeyore, Tigger, Pooh, Chip and Dale, Rafiki, all while we had breakfast in Disneyland.

My wife took me around to different places in Disneyland. This was not her first nor second time being here. So she knew her way around the park. Our first autograph when we first entered the park was Mickey Mouse. I actually got to go inside Mickey Mouse’s house and sit and play his piano and see where he actually lives! We had white t-shirts on and were hoping to have the characters sign them but we found out that they could not be on us, they had to be off our bodies for the characters to sign the t-shirt. We got a journal to have the characters sign in. We went on the It’s a Small World ride. We went on the Star Tours ride, then she took me on Splash Mountain which we came off the ride soaking wet. We went through the Haunted Mansion, Pirates of the Caribbean, Space Mountain, The Jungle Cruise, Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, Monorail Tram and the Train around the park. I had such a wonderful time that I was very impressed in what I got to see and do. We watched Mickey Mouse show of lights called Fantasmic on the water front and that was awesome. I need to figure out how to take pictures at night with my digital camera so I can get good clear pictures of what I do at night. I tried my luck at the rifle shot and didn’t do bad on shooting. Since I haven’t been able to shoot a real gun for along time. I was very impressed with Disneyland and if you have never been there I recommend that you save up your pennies and make a date to go and visit before you get too old and cannot enjoy it as much as when you’re young. I am 53 years old and it has taken me this long to be able to see it for the first time. What an experience it is to be among all those people and feel the excitement in the air. I finally got to meet my favorite characters of all time. I am a big fan of Walt Disney and look up to him for the amazing man he was in his time and what he had accomplished when he was alive. If he could only see his accomplishments and what he and a Mouse named Mickey Mouse has built into a Million dollar corporation in animation movies and family films i am forever grateful that God brought him into this world at the time he did. He his an amazing man that if he was able to lose everything and come back and be successful i know that we all can do the same thing. We just have to believe in ourselves that we can become this great of a person.

Emotional Intelligence


Building Relationships

I hope what I am about to share with you will be enlightening for your mind. Hopefully you will take a step back in your relationships and see where you might need to make a few adjustments. I also want to express that I am in no way an expert in this subject, that it is merely what I have searched out myself and thought I would share with the world what I discovered.

What is emotional intelligence? What does it mean to have emotional intelligence? This is what I want to talk to you about this time in my blog, what it means to have emotional intelligence and how this affects our life and those people around us as well.

Last semester I took Interpersonal Communication at Colorado State University Global Campus. I never knew what it meant to have emotional intelligence until I did some research on the topic for one of my discussion questions. I learned where I need to improve my life as a person and this starts right here with emotional intelligence.

In 2010, Exforsys Inc.says this about emotional intelligence, “A successful relationship is a product of creating and keeping a constant and healthy connection with other people” (p. 1). I feel that this is true, that if we keep in contact with people around us that we stay in better health than if we isolate ourselves from the world. When we are around people we stay socially active in our activities.

When we are actively building a relationship, individuals should feel bonded or connected like we are to the plants inside our home and in our yard and garden.We should nurture our relationships with those around us to keep building up on those friendships we have made. When we can acknowledge,manage, and communicate our emotions in the right way as well as recognize others’ emotions, we can build on having good emotional intelligence skills. Then we begin to build emotional awareness and a strong emotional foundation which will help develop good relationships. 

Do we ever really look at emotional intelligence in this way? I was not taught that this existed. I feel these are some of the skills that we should be teaching our children in public schools. Maybe I am wrong, but I feel that if kids would have these basics skills implanted in them maybe they wouldn’t have as much hate between their peers.

Understanding Emotional Intelligence

What is the best way we as a society can understand emotional intelligence? Exforsys Inc. has this to say, 

 “If you wish to achieve successful relationships with those around you, below are the fundamental skills in developing intelligence. But the basic thing to do is to connect to the core of emotions before you can aptly convey your emotions and understand other people’s feelings as well” (2010, p. 1).

In order for us to get in touch with others’ emotions we first must get in touch with ours. I think this is going to be pretty hard for you guys. We have been taught not to show our emotions as this is a sign of weakness. But I have to tell you macho men out there, if you let go of your emotions and allow them to show you will see how much closer you will become to your spouse or significant other. This also goes for the women. This goes for both parties, to allow yourself the freedom to let go of your emotions, to get in touch with those around you. This will help you build a stronger relationship. Julie Wood describes emotional intelligence by saying, “Emotion intelligence, or EQ, is the
ability to recognize feelings, to judge which feelings are appropriate in which situations, and to communicate those feelings effectively” (2014, p. 191).

“What do you feel? What do you do? You may want to scream some choice words or tailgate the other car to get revenge” (Wood, 2014, p. 191). There are many of us that would love to be one of these people at times, just by the way other people react in this society. But do we know what their day has been like or what they are going through at that time? That’s why we shouldn’t allow our emotions to take over us, because when we allow our emotions to get out of control, we are heading for trouble. 

We need to take time to really understand emotional intelligence so that we understand other people’s emotions as well. Think of emotional intelligence as a link to your well being. Julie Wood said, “People who have higher emotional intelligence quotients are more likely than people with lower EQs to create satisfying relationships, to be comfortable with themselves, to work effectively with others, and to have better overall health” (Wood, 2010, p.192).

I am far from being one of these emotional intelligence quotients people. I feel that this is due in part to my neurological disorders, that I have a hard time expressing my emotional intelligence or recognizing others’ emotional intelligence. Before I go into the skills, I’d like to talk about what human emotions are, and what keys they play in our role as a human being.

What Are Emotions?

What are human emotions? Why is it important that we understand what human emotions are? First you should understand what emotions are before we go into discussing emotional intelligence skills. Then you’ll have a better
understanding of what emotions are to be able to grasp the necessary skills to have for emotional intelligence.

Wood describes emotions as such, “Emotions are our experiences and interpretation of internal sensation as they are shaped by physiology, perception, language, and social experience (2014, p. 193). So our emotions are what makes up who we are as human beings in this world. Our emotions play a big part in our life, especially in our relationships with others.

 “If you wish to achieve successful relationships with those around you, below are the fundamental skills in developing intelligence. But the basic thing to do is to connect to the core of emotions before you can aptly convey your emotions and understand other people’s feelings as well” Exforsys Inc. (2010, p. 1).

In order for us to get in touch with others’ emotions we first must get in touch with ours. I think this is going to be pretty hard for you guys. We have been taught not to show our emotions as this is a sign of weakness. But I have to tell you macho men out there, if you let go of your emotions and allow them to show you will see how much closer you will become to your spouse or significant other. This also goes for the women. This goes for both parties, to allow yourself the freedom to let go of your emotions, to get in touch with those around you. This will help you build a stronger relationship. Julie Wood describes emotional intelligence by saying, “Emotion intelligence, or EQ, is the ability to recognize feelings, to judge which feelings are appropriate in which situations, and to communicate those feelings effectively” (2014, p. 191).

“What do you feel? What do you do? You may want to scream some choice words or tailgate the other car to get revenge” (Wood, 2014, p. 191). There are many of us that would love to be one of these people at times, just by the way other people react in this society. But do we know what their day has been like
or what they are going through at that time? That’s why we shouldn’t allow our emotions to take over us, because when we allow our emotions to get out of control, we are heading for trouble. 

We need to take time to really understand emotional intelligence so that we understand other people’s emotions as well. Think of emotional intelligence as a link to your well being. Julie Wood said, “People who have higher emotional intelligence quotients are more likely than people with lower EQs to create satisfying relationships, to be comfortable with themselves, to work effectively with others, and to have better overall health” (Wood, 2010, p.192).

I am far from being one of these emotional intelligence quotients people. I feel that this is due in part to my neurological disorders, that I have a hard time expressing my emotional intelligence or recognizing others’ emotional intelligence. Before I go into the skills, I’d like to talk about what human emotions are, and what keys they play in our role as a human being.

What Are Emotions?

What are human emotions? Why is it important that we understand what human emotions are? First you should understand what emotions are before we go into discussing emotional intelligence skills. Then you’ll have a better understanding of what emotions are to be able to grasp the necessary skills to have for emotional intelligence.

Wood describes emotions as such, “Emotions are our experiences and interpretation of internal sensation as they are shaped by physiology, perception, language, and social experience” (2014, p. 193). So our emotions are what makes up who we are as human beings in this world. “Our emotions play a big part in our life, especially in our relationships with others. with people
and situations affect our emotions” Exforsys Inc.(2010, p. 2).

We have to understand that we live in a world that we are going to be tested in everything we do in our life. From our stress level to our emotions. Especially when we add someone else into our life because we are taking full responsibility to care for that person for the rest of our life. We are promising that person that we will be faithful to that person always. 

If do not we are going to add a great deal of stress and emotions that we could never even imagine that exist in life. You have to learn to communicate well with other people. This means having patience with them, giving them time to be able to speak what is on their mind with your full attention towards them at that time. This also means that you need to be on guard with your emotions, we need to learn to recognize them, and know how these feelings affect our actions in our relationships with others. When we can manage these skills we will be able to move on to the third skill which is where we can recognize nonverbal communication.

Once we have mastered these two skills, we will be able to have the ability to communicate nonverbally which is the third of the five skills. This skill we must learn to enhance so that we are aware of the other person’s emotions as well as our own. This communication is more power than words could ever speak. Our nonverbal language speaks for itself how we hold ourselves in public when we are talking to other people, how we are looking at them, responding with our hands, and our body language say so much to people around us. We rarely take this into consideration when we are speaking to other people. 

Wood describes nonverbal communication in these words, “Nonverbal Communication is all aspects of communication other than words. It includes not only gestures and body language but also how we utter words: inflection,
pauses, tone, volume and accent” (2014, p. 135). As you can see, nonverbal communication is more than what meets the eye. We never stop to think about this when we are in a conversation with someone. 

We often wonder why they may get upset at us but if we stop to think about this it is not always what is verbally said but maybe what we nonverbally said with our body that set them off. We have to remember nonverbal communication also includes the environments that affect interaction, the personal objects such as jewelry, clothes, and physical appearance.

This is why we should treat nonverbal communication the same way as we do verbal communication. Wood says, “Nonverbal communication is similar to verbal communication in four respects: it is symbolic, it is rule-guided, it may be intentional or unintentional, and it reflects culture” (2014, p. 135). This is why we need to speak very carefully with our bodies when we stand and communicate. Our body also speaks for us as well as our voice does. Exforsys Inc. talks about these body parts how we should use them she says, “Communicate properly through appropriate use of facial expressions, gestures, eye contact, body movements, and our voice to maintain a strong relationship. Once we can master these skills then we move on the next one which by this time we should be able to handle this one. Allowing a little humor in your life is good for your soul they say.

The fourth skill is to have humor and have fun in your life. How can you enjoy life if you are aways so wound up that you never can be fancy free and let go of life once in a while? You need to enjoy life as you have it on this earth. We only live once in this life and if we are always bound to one way of living our life we will never get out and enjoy life as we know it. Exdorsys Inc. says, “Good humor lifts up a distressing situation in relationship, and gives us a feeling of relief from a challenging experience” (2010, p. 2).

You have to let go of the experiences you go through and see the humor in them; if you do not you will kill your spirit and lose your emotion to feel nothing worth living for. Don’t take your differences so hard in your relationship, have some fun with them. Have some humor and playfulness with each other. In other words don’t take things so seriously, sometimes you have to let go of yourself and enjoy life with each other. 

Take your relationship problems lightly. This will be easy to accomplish. As you embrace each of the skills here you will watch yourself grow into a better person and you will be happier and healthier with yourself. This brings us to the last of our five skills which is to resolve conflict.

The final skill is the ability to resolve conflict when it arises and believe me this will come sometime in your life. If this hasn’t already come into your life, we will be able to deal with it head on with any problems. We deal with people in our personal and professional life on a daily basis. Most of the time the situation does not go down smoothly in the end. Exforsys Inc. says, “Demonstrate emotional intelligence during conflicts by properly responding to and facing any dispute or disagreements with others” (2010, p. 3).

We will always find it hard to find the right word to speak when a conflict arises in a relationship. The two or three people, depending on who is involved in the dispute, have their own opinion on the subject and this is when we have to learn to go in with an open mind and listen to all that is being said. This doesn’t mean letting it go in one ear and out the other. This means taking in and processing the information the person is trying to say and waiting until they are done speaking to you. Then at this time you may tell the other person this is what you understand they are saying and this is how you feel about this matter. 

All these skills in communicating take time and practice to get down. This does
not come overnight and you may have a few mistakes the first few times that you start to use them. My advice to all of you is do not give in to defeat. Keep working at these skills and they will soon come naturally to you. When you can master this skill along with the other four you will be able to work through any conflict and be successful at achieving them together without having conflicts arise. There are advantages of emotional intelligence in relationships. What are they? Well, I will share a few with you and hopefully what I have shared thus far will help you all better grasp your emotional intelligence out there in this world.

Advantages of Emotional Intelligence

Building healthy emotional intelligence in any relationship brings about advantages that result in the individual and the connection they are creating. With professional relationships they open new doors that were not there before between the two of you. This opens communication between you and your coworkers that was not there before. This helps those who work in teams iron out their differences with much less conflict between team members. The team members can mend wounds and mend their feelings between one another. A good and healthy work environment creates healthy relationships in the workplace, which brings the individuals where they are more comfortable working with each other. 

Not only does this build healthy relationships professionally, it also builds a health personal relationship with those in your life. The advantages of emotional intelligence in your own life will lift you up and make you a better person in this life. Learn to channel your emotional in the right way so that those in your professional and personal life will enjoy being around you. Then you will be able to have humor  and enjoy playing around with life to be able to enjoy what is around now while you have the time to enjoy life in this world.


Reference

 

Bennington, E. (2010)  Management skills: Managing emotions in the workplace. Retrieved from https://hiring.monster.com/hr/hr-best-practices/small-business/employee-motivation/emotions-in-the-workplace.aspx

Exforsys Inc. (2010). Using emotional intelligence to build relationship. Retrieved From http://www.exforsys.com/career-center/relationship-management/emotional-intelligence-build-relationships.html

Wood, T. J. (2014).  Interpersonal Communication: Everyday Encounter. Boston, MA, Cengage Learning

Am I a Christian

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I have been thinking about the gospel since I have been able to share my testimony of the gospel to those friends online and in school. This got me thinking about myself as a Christian and question myself if I am living my life according to the way that my Heavenly Father wants me to live my life upon this earth. I share my testimony of how blessed I am to have to the gospel of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in my life but am I living my life the way I should as a member of the church? As I got to think about this I really question, “What does it mean to be a Christian? Am I living a Christian life that my Savior Jesus Christ taught to his disciples when he was here upon the earth?

In the Bible dictionary we learn that a Christian is:  A name first given to believers in Jesus Christ at Antioch in Syria, about A.D. 43 (Acts 11:26). It was perhaps given contemptuously but was accepted by followers of Christ as a fit title (See 1 Pet. 4:16; Alma 46:15). A Christian is a person who comes unto Christ, who accepts him as their Savior and Redeemer of world. Is this all we have to do to be a Christian today? We read in 1 Pet. 4:16; ​“Yet if ​any man suffer​ as a ​​​Christian​, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf.” Peter is saying here to suffer not as a Christian and not be ashamed for who you are but glorify unto the Father in his behalf. This means move forward in your life and live your life to the fullest each day; make it count. This means that we serve the Savior everyday as a Christian. This means biting our tongue when a person flips you off down the road, or your boss yells at you for something that was not your fault. This means as a disciple of Jesus Christ, as Christians, we must turn the other cheek to those who may do us wrong. We as Christians need to have the bigger heart to love one another as ourselves. To live our life as the Savior did. In Alma 46:15 we read, “And those who did belong to the church were ​​​faithful​; yea, all those who were true believers in Christ ​​​took upon​ them, gladly, the name of Christ, or ​​​Christians​ as they were called, because of their belief in Christ who should come.” Elder Quentin L. Cook of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles has this to say about Christians today,

The goal of honoring the Lord and submitting ourselves to His will is not as valued in today’s society as it has been in the past. Some Christian leaders of other faiths believe we are living in a post-Christian world (Cook, 2017).

I agree with this statement from Elder Cook that we live in a post-Christian world today. Let us take a look at what Elder Cook is talking about post-Christian world.  This is what definition of post-Christian world means,

A postChristian society is not merely a society in which agnosticism or atheism is the prevailing fundamental belief. It is a society rooted in the history, culture, and practices of Christianity but in which the religious beliefs of Christianity have been either rejected or, worse, forgotten (O’Sullivan, 2013).

We live in a world today that society has taken away from the word of Jesus Christ and fit it into their own life. People in this world today justify everything that they know how to live their lives, that they twist the truth to fit their lifestyle. Because they have to justify their truth they feel that the rest of the world needs to justify their truth with them. This is where the conflict in society comes from is where those who are twisting the truth of Christianity to fit their needs to justify their lifestyle and trying to force others to follow after what they have taken out doctrine to be false. Wanting those of us who live a Christian life by the teachings of the Bible or try as much as we can in this crazy world we live in. None of us are perfect and will never be perfect. There’s only one person that is perfect from this world. He gave his life for all man kind sins, so that we could return to live with our Eternal Heavenly Father.  The Savior Jesus Christ is the only one who is perfect. We still live a Christian life and still love those who have decided to twist the doctrine to fit their lifestyle; we just do not have to approve of their choices they make in their lives. Post-Christianity is not exactly what or how people describe it to be.  In 2013, Sullivan described Post-Christianity as such, “It is a society rooted in the history, culture, and practices of Christianity but in which the religious beliefs of Christianity have been either rejected or, worse, forgotten.” In other words it’s those who are dormant in Christianity to the nature of man. This goes as far as to underpin our ideas of foreign policy, and politics such as human rights. Again it comes down to those who have forgotten the fundamental truths of Christianity, by making up what is truthful Christian doctrine and twisting the truths in the written word to fit their lifestyle. The doctrine reads okay to them without them feeling like they are committing a sin against God. What does all this have to do with my questioning, “Am I really a Christian?” Well I’ll explain why I question Christian doctrine and if I am really living a Christian life as I should be according  to our Savior Jesus Christ. How can I know and other people out there know you are living a true Christian lifestyle? Let’s take a look at some examples of those who have or are living a Christian lifestyle, and compare it to the lifestyle that I am living today. For our first example, let’s look at Christ himself. How did he live his life on this earth? Jesus Christ walked uprightly before God the Father. Doing all things unto the Father and serving others without asking anything in return. Christ served others in all he did unto the Father. In the Old Testament, the prophet Micah declared, “What doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?”  As Jesus Christ did as he walked upon this earth he did as Micah describes right here. Like unto our Savior Jesus Christ his followers and his disciples were a prime example of what a Christian should be living their life like. Are we today walking as disciples of Christ doing all we can to be the most Christian disciple that we can be? Are we living or lives according to the prophet Micah?

Throughout the Bible the prophets have warned us about our pride and the vain things of the world. Elder Cook says, “The widespread deterioration of civil discourse is also a concern. The eternal principle of agency requires that we respect many choices with which we do not agree. We need more modesty and humility.”

Alma cautions against being “puffed up in the pride of your hearts,” “supposing that ye are better one than another,” and persecuting the humble who “walk after the holy order of God.”

Are we as Christians as Alma speaks his words his words here?  Are we puffed up in  so much pride that we cannot see clearly what Satan is trying to leaned us way to in our own hearts into this world. As a Christian, do I have a prideful heart that is so puffed up that I am not able to walk rightly before the holy order of God. If I do then I need to change my heart because I am not true Christian that my life is so full of pride that I cannot see passed others for who they are and not for what they are doing. For a true Christian that follows Christ does not have a a prideful heart towards others or to himself. This is the work of Satan trying to lead you away from the true light of Christ,

When we find ourselves coming to this place in our life this is the time that we need to get our knees and start by becoming humble before God. Elder Cook states that, “When people like myself begin to be more humble in the world there will begin to more genuine love in the air.” I fully have to agree with Elder Cook words he speaks here. That when we become more humble before God there will become more love in this world. But it starts with us changing our views around us by becoming more Christian like in our faith. Not just going through our daily routines by the emotion but by living them by action. When we speak by action the response is greater than by emotion. I know for myself that this is the way I live my life is my emotion rather than by action that I should be doing as a Christian. One who is truly a follower of Christ and know with a doubt that he is my Savior and redeemer with out him we in no way could have return to our Heavenly Father. This is one of the greatest things in my life that I struggle with today is being humble myself.

As we begin to search the scripture for answers to many question we have about how we should go about being humble. The first step we find to becoming humble before God is we need to pray. We need ask for his guides to becoming humble towards God. How can we do this in the book of James chapter 4 verses 6-10 we read, “6. But he giveth me more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. 7. Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8. Draw nigh to God and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. 9. Be afflicted and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to morning. and your joy to heaviness. 10. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.”

James is telling us that we need to go before the God and ask him with sincere heart to humble yourself before him and walk up rightly before God. This means that we turn our cheeks to those who may do any harm to us no matter what that may be. We as Christian need to begin to live our lives according to what we preach to others. We are disciples of Christ when we come unto Christ and truly except him as Savior and Redeemer. We are taken up the same responsibilities as did his disciples did when Christ seek them out as his followers. He ask them to come unto Him and follow him. As disciples of Christ, they had excepted their calling to follow him as their Savior and Redeemer. As true disciples they to except same responsibilities as we have today, by excepting Christ into our live.

As we read in Mosiah, Alma taught that as often as we repent, the Lord will forgive our trespasses. On the other hand, as indicated in the Lord’s Prayer, when we do not forgive others’ trespasses, we bring ourselves under condemnation. Because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, through repentance our sins are forgiven.

When we do not forgive those who trespass against us, we are in effect rejecting the Savior’s Atonement. Holding a grudge and refusing to forgive and refusing to humbly approach our relationships in a Christlike manner truly brings us under condemnation. Holding a grudge is poisonous to our souls.

We must always remember these warnings as Christians we are setup on a higher standard and people look up on as such. We may not know this or do not think this at the time we are in the middle of battle with our neighbor over some issue or having road rage with someone that just had passed us by that had been riding our back bumper for last ten miles. You just happen to be so anger by this by the time they go to pass you, you give them the finger. What kind of message are we sending out to the world when we are living our true Christian standards ourselves. Are then truly being a Christian at this point in our life. When we sit and talk bad about friend and family members do we stop to think how Christ is feeling at this point in time.

You are asking yourself what does this have to do with, “Am I a True Christian,” my answer to you is this, it has a lot to do with this if you stop and think about this statement. “Am I a True Christian when I talk about other people, Am I a True Christian if I am not Humble before God, Am I a True Christian when I do not lift a helping hand to my neighbor across the street or on the side of the road. Am I a True Christian when I am not attending my meeting on Sunday every Sunday. My answer to these question is that it has a lot to do with “Am I a True Christian.

Let me know turn to the prophet Moroni in the Book of Mormon and see what he has to say about all  of this and the caution that he gives against any form of arrogance.  The Lord, through the prophet Moroni, makes a stark contrast between the arrogant and the humble: “Fools mock, but they shall mourn; and my grace is sufficient for the meek.” The Lord further declared, “I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”

According the prophet Moroni we have a great deal of humility to have numerous blessing and divine assistance. This humility is a great achievement to over come as a Christian and I have to say if we can over come humility unto God then we have become a disciple of Christ.  This is a great spiritual strength for not only for us, but also for those around us, but most of all it is showing God the Father that we truly want to be his disciple and be Christian as we say we are. I pray as I embark upon this journey for myself that you who are claiming to be Christian will come and follow the Savior Jesus Christ and be the Christian that he truly wants us all to be. That we together can humble ourselves this very day before the all Mighty God the Father and begin to walk this path of righteousness that Christ has asked to do when we have excepted him into our lives. That we may go forth this day and commit to ourselves that we as Christians we will achieve his purpose upon this grand earth that he so placed us on. To be tried and tested all the days of mortal preexistence upon this earth. That we as Elder Cook stated in his 2013 talk, “It is my prayer that in this contentious world we will continuously strive for true humility every day. A favorite poem puts it this way:

The test of greatness is the way One meets the eternal Everyday (Cook, 2013).

I cannot answer you for sure that, “Am I a True Christian,” but I can tell you this that from this day forth that I am going to do my best to serve my Savior Jesus Christ and Redeemer to the best that I know as a Christian should be. I know that I am not perfect in anyway shape or form. Like the rest of the world, I confess that I have demons like the rest of the world population out there.

That all I can do is strive to be best that I can be to strive to up hold my promise I made to my Savior and Redeemer when I was baptized and came unto him and excepted him as my Savior and my Redeemer. This is all I can do and leave these final words with you, If you happen to question this same thought think about getting on your knees and asking God himself if you are a true Christian and do not feel so I truly hope that you’ll find your answers to this question.

It is my humble prayer that I bear a sure witness of the Savior and His Atonement and the overwhelming importance of humbly serving Him each and every day. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Reference

Cook, Q. (2017). The eternal everyday. Ensign. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

O’Sullivan, J. (2013). Christianity, post-Christianity, and the future of the west. Retrieved from http://www.nationalreview.com/article/366263/our-post-christian-society-john osullivan

Communication

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The season to be jolly is upon us, the white stuff is out on the ground. Not too many more days until that jolly good fellow will be coming around to all the houses to fill them with lots of toys for all those children around the world. What will jolly good Old Saint Nick bring you this Christmas? I am hoping that he would bring back some of that good old one-on-one conversation that we had in this world. Going back to school, I have learned a great deal where technology has taken us to the point that all we are doing now is texting words to each other, even if we are in the same room together. What is up with the people of this earthly world? Has God not given us the gift to speak our words, to hear our voices in the words we speak? I mean I have to admit right here, right now that I am shy when it comes to talking to people in person and I sometimes find it easier to talk to them by texting my message but how do we learn from this if we cannot see their personal reaction to our own words?
I have to admit again that I grew up in the time of writing with a pen, pencil and with paper. You were lucky if your parents could afford a typewriter back then. Even then if your were a master at using the typewriter this took more time than the machine was worth trying to sit there and figure out how to use the dumb thing. Copy machines were not heard of at this time.duplicator
The copy machine that the school had were these things they called duplicators. You had to put your carbon copy on the machine and turn the handle to run the paper through to duplicate the copies that you needed. You were the motor for this copy machine.
To call someone you either had to walk up to the office to use the office phone or you had to walk to a corner with a phone booth to put a nickel into the phone to make local calls; long distance was dependent upon where you were calling to. Even then you usually had to wait until you got home to call someone and talk to them.Unknown-4Our phone did not reach any further than the kitchen or living room, unless you were lucky and your parents allowed you to have your own phone in your room; even then you could only stay right there and talk to your friends. Texting during school, well unless you wanted your message to be read in front of whole class, you here better off waiting until after class to talk with your friend. Our text messaging back when I was in school was a pen, pencil and a piece of paper and you wrote your “text” to your friend, girlfriend or whomever you wanted to relay a message to; that was one way of doing your communication between two or three people. We did not have these fancy things that you call cell phones with text messaging capabilities on them.
The only other way we communicated was with word of mouth. This type of communication is all in the past, we are so far from knowing how to even communicate clearly and properly that our world would be in a chaos. We would not know how to function from our left to our right let alone sit down with someone and actually have a one-on-one conversation with that person you sit next to at work. Just maybe you may learn something new about that person you never even knew.images
Wouldn’t this be a scary thought, right! From the sound of broadcasting waves over a radio, to a picture on a screen with no sound at first, then came sound into that square box with the picture tube in front of it. From there we began to get portable devices such as radios, tape decks and 8 tracks. From this new technology we then were introduced to the first home computer and this is where communication began to fade from person-to-person communication.
images-1Then came these things we have today that are called cell phones. More like small miniature computers walking around in your pocket. Once this technology came in, talking went out. Texting came in and that is all this world knows how to do is text each other for everything. Daughter is upstairs in her room and does not want to come downstairs to talk with mom or dad or whomever face-to-face, so she just picks up her cell phone and texts, “Mom, need 2 talk with u ASAP! Love Jenny.” Mom then answers back, “Jenny if you need to talk with me you will need to come downstairs and talk with me. I’m trying to get dinner on the table before your dad gets home.” Then Jenny texts back “Mom I really need to talk with you before dad gets home” Mom text Jenny back “then come down and talk with me.” This is when Jenny just texts back and says, “Never mind.” Would it have killed Jenny to take five minutes of her precious time to go and talk with her mother and have a nice one-on-one conversation and maybe helping her get dinner done.
This is what gets me, we use our cell phones way too much. If you need to talk to someone and you are two doors down from their office, get off your lazy butt and walk down and talk to that person face-to-face. Do not email them or text them and wait for a reply. You may be waiting all day until they respond to your text message or email. What is it that we have gotten so far from human contact with that we do not like to carry on a conversation with anyone anymore in this world? Is it because it is so much easier to just text words to people than to speak them?
If you really want my opinion on this matter, I wish we all would take our cell phones and flush them down the toilet and get rid of them all. I personally couldn’t care less if I even have a phone or cell phone. I really think they are a big pain in my butt. So for this Christmas all I am wishing for from Santa Claus is a little more communication between one another and I do not mean texting and emailing. I mean good old communication with one another. This is my wish for this Christmas Holiday season. Are you all with me on this? Let’s put our cell phone, iPad, laptop, computer, and any other technology devices out there away for just a day and find one person to sit down with, for let’s say half an hour of conversation. This is my challenge to all of you out there that dares to read this blog. I challenge all those who read this blog to find one person, I do not care who this person is. As long as it is a person you can sit there and communicate to without your cell phone, iPads, and computers. Enjoy your day with that one person you decide to have a one-on-one conversation with. Tell me how your conversation went in the comments below. Have a happy holiday and a Happy New Year to all of you who come in and read my blogs.

Another Round of School

They tell you once you drop out of college you never make it back to finish your degree. I was beginning to think this until I mention to my wife about going back to school. This when my journey started in looking for another institution to go back and finish what I start back in 2002 when I started working towards Bachelors degree in Communication

Well I tried local college first and would have been excepted into Brigham Young University of Idaho but due to the credits that was coming with me I had to many to be excepted to their institution. So we began to look online to see what online schools they had. I had attended University of Phoenix and received a Associates degree from their sister College Axia College. After finishing my degree with their sister college I began to work my Bachelors degree in Communication and then in 2010 come to find out from my financial counselor I did not have funds to finish up my degree and I ended again dropping out and because I dropped out They stuck me with the bill for the one class I took because their reason was I never finished the other two classes and they had to send my student loans back which enough to cover the one class. But they keep like $200 dollars of the student loan and I had to pay the remaining balance on the account. My point to this is, I did not want to return to money stilling institute and that is all they are. So they where out of the picture of wanting to return to them. My wife stumbled across Colorado State University Global Campus which is online.

This is where I decided to apply to Colorado State University Global Campus to attend their institution. This is when I was excepted to attend their online campus starting August 25, 2017 and each of their courses run for 8 weeks. In these 8 weeks you cover a great deal of material and a great deal of research and writing papers. I have learn to not write in first person and learn to write in third person and making sure that every sentence and paragraph that I wrote made sense and clear to the point of what I was writing about. I mean I have written papers before when I first attended college, but there is a difference between writing an essay for English class and writing a research paper for English class. An a essay is your own thoughts depending what type of essay  your professor has you write. Research paper you have to make sure if your direct quote something that when you citation your information that you put authors last name, no middle initials is used, year and page number, and paragraph number. You have to remember this every time you do a direct quote something. Then if paraphrasing the text you just have to use the last name of the author and year. I struggle with this through all my papers that I did. I even used the writing lab to make sure my papers are in the format and comprehension is right in each paragraph and sentence.

I forgot what it takes to go back to school and it nice to have these two course out of the way. I did better than I thought I would in my one class that I started out with. Going to school online you have to discipline yourself to prioritize your time been school work and family time. Also you need to make sure that you take time for yourself and have some time to let free the stress that you deal with. I made it through the first 8 weeks of what will be a year and half give and take to finish my degree. I feel great to be back into school and completing my Bachelors degree I started so long ago. I was told I was not college material back in high school and so I never really thought about going to college. Know I am sitting just year and half away from having a Bachelors degree. This is from some one who was told he was not college material. I never thought I would be writing like I do and sharing what I write to the world. I know I am not Mark Twain, Ernest Hemingway, and Edgar Allen Poe, but I have not given up trying to improve my writing from what I was back in grade school, middle school, and high school. If I can learn to improve my writing so can you. I have to books published, but this does not mean that I am successful author. You can publish a book but you have the books sell to really say that your successful in writing as an author. Those two books have not done vert good since I have published them and I hoping that this book I am working on will do better than these last two have done for me. I just wanted to share with you that I am back into school and have made through the first two courses. In the first course Applying Leadership Principles I came out of the course with 721/1000 points total which put me into a sold A for this course. I am still waiting for the second grade to come in for my final paper which is worth 350 of our total points which is 1000 point total. I hope I do as good as I did in this course. The other course is Writing and Research for Communication. I will let you know in my next Blog that I will write. to follow up on this Blog. Well keep writing and do not let people tell you cannot write because I believe that we all have the power to write we just need to keep practicing with our writing. I am excited to be back into school and among my peers.

Justice In America

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I have been sitting here on the sidelines reading the headlines about what has been taking place in the media over the past few months with America. How society is pointing the fingers at each other and protesting the National Anthem at the NFL games. 

To be honest, I stopped watching NFL games a long time ago when it became more about who could make the most money carrying a leather football down the field. I stopped watching Major League Baseball when the players decided it was about who could make the most money. You all have lost me because you do not play the games for love of the game anymore. It is all about yourself and not about who pays your salary. Who comes to your games faithfully every season no matter what the weather is like, they are always there for you? There is no more Joe Namath who played for the New York Jets 1963, Raymond Berry who played for the Colts 1973, Tom Fears a receiver for the Rams in 1970, Bobby Walstson a receiver for the Eagles from 1951-1962, these are just a few of many that played the game when I would watch Monday and Sunday Night football when I was growing up. Now for me it is a past time event to sit and watch any sports because there’s no one who plays the game like these guys did. Babe Ruth who played for the Red Sox as their Pitcher, Lou Gehrig who played for the Yankees from 1923 until 1939, Eddie Robinson played for the Pirates in 1947, Bob Miller who played for the Phillies in 1949, these are some of many players in baseball that played for the love of the game not for the money. 

They were proud to be part of an elite group of people that young and old generations looked up to and wanted to become one of them someday. I loved baseball from the first time I put a baseball into my hand and I was playing T-ball as a little kid. I wanted to grow up and become a Major League player but as I got older life seemed to take a different picture for me. Baseball became a thing of the past as I watched the players change over the years growing up. To me I began to lose interest in baseball and football as the players began to change who loved playing the game for the game itself and not for the money. You see you guys have lost me a long time ago because there has not been Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, or Joe Namath, Raymond Berry that has come along that just wanted to play the game for the pure love of the game. America’s past time players who played for the love of the game is gone. That is why I cannot sit on the sidelines anymore and not speak out about this great Nation we live in. This brings me to the point about why I am writing this time is to speak out to let my voice be heard to all those who read this Blog this time. This is for those who have stood up for America. They have given their lives for our freedom who sacrifice their lives, family to make sure we have our freedom today. 

This Blog is for my Grandfather, Uncles, brother, and all those who have given their time, sweat, blood, and tears for this country for our freedoms we have today. I want all who read these words from this point forth to stop and think about what I have to say. Dig really deep in your soul and find that one thing that makes you proud to be an American; because it is not about ourselves in this war we are fighting against, it is a war against our own kin, brothers and sisters alike. 

It does not matter the color of our skin we are: “ONE NATION UNDER GOD, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL.” I want you to remember these words; because we are all family. God put us on this earth to be different, but he did not put us on this earth to hate one another because of the Color of our skin.   

Think about these few words for a few moments while I speak to you about our Great Nation America. Let us take a step back and see what we have become as a nation that brave men have fought and died for. Fought because they believed in what they were fighting for was a “Just Cause” for our “Freedom.” What have we done as American citizens? We have spit in their faces and disgraced our flag that has fought on their side in every battle fought since the beginning of time. 

This is not enough to stand up when the our national anthem is playing, to put your arm across you heart to honor her, that fought so true to her glory for our freedom. To me you have spit upon this “GREAT NATION” that we the people live in. Yes, We the People, have freedom to speak out to be heard, but is with violence and protest that we have to do this. What message are we sending our children? That it is okay to use protest to take a bended knee to make a statement. To use violence to get our message across to the world.We need to stop to remember who is looking up to us when we do these kinds of actions. What are you teaching your children when you protest like this? When they are taught one thing to respect Old Glory as they see her flying high in the sky. Now we are sending the message that it is okay to disrespect her when she is flying high in the sky. Is it enough that they see so much violence in the media that we have to protest a National monument to get our point across? Okay I understand that none of us are perfect, that we all make mistakes in this world, but it stops when we begin stepping up to our own mistakes and facing up to your own action. Stop blaming the world for your mistakes. Start by accepting your mistakes and taking on the responsibilities for your actions. Stop pointing the finger in the other direction, but to yourself.  

We all have had had to deal with crises in our life growing up. Everything in this life comes with a price behind it. From the day we are born we have a price that we have to live by, we just don’t remember what that price is because the veil has been put over our eyes so that we cannot remember any of what we promised our Heavenly Father in that Great Council in Heaven. You all can believe this or not but I know this for a fact for I have found it out for myself and all I had to do is ask my Heavenly Father to know the truth. We can read in Job where God tells Job, “I knew you before you were in the belly.” Just as God told Job He knew Job before this life he knows us. We chose the life we are living, how we decide to make it work out for ourselves, well that is up to us to decide. But how we decide to live our life upon this earth will depend on our choices we make. You may be thinking that’s great but I did not choose to be born to this person. In fact you did decide that you told Heavenly Father as you sat with him before coming to this earth as you sit with your earthly father and counseled with him, we did with our Heavenly Father. We said, “Okay Heavenly Father this is what I want to do when I go to earth when I gain my mortal state.” Father in Heaven came back and asked us are we sure that is what we wanted. We replied with a yes. 

This is the life that you had to grow up in. You are not the only ones that had to live this way growing up. Fight your way out of the projects to make a name for yourself because your parents either left you, got hooked on drugs, put you up for adoption, or whatever the case may be. You cannot blame the world for this. It is not the society around you to blame for this either. We have a choice that we can make and that choice is up to us. What Choices we make we have to live with for the rest of our lives and answer to Heavenly Father in the end. So really it is up to you how you handle the choices you make. Your parents never forced you to join a gang, they never forced you to pull the trigger on the gun, for what reason you are where you are today is choices that you yourself made on your own. It is up to you to face those choices; to make what you do wrong into a right, right now while you have the time and chance to mend the hurt, the suffering, the guilt that you are living with it is up to you to make this change. No one else is to blame for your choices that you have made in your life. You  cannot blame God; because he did not force you to make those choices. Remember that he set us up here with the ability to have free will. Yes, free will to make the choice on our own. We made them we have to face them on our own to deal with them in the right way, which is to own up to our own mistakes and correct them ourselves. 

The world did not force you to make the choices you did. You are the ones that made those choices whether they are right or wrong we have to face them, and deal with on our own. We can ask God for His help to guide us through the stages of repentance, but we have to own up to our own mistakes if we are going to fix this Nation. This is the only way this is going to happen. We need to stop pointing the finger to everyone else and start pointing it back to ourselves. 

 We need to stop blaming God for our problems You and I have caused ourselves in this world. We are the blame for the problem and we are the only ones that can fix what is broken in this world by owning up to our own mistakes we make. God has given us the free agency to be able to make choices in this life. How we handle these choices is really up to us. This does not mean we are bad in the choices we make; it is how we deal with them after we make them that will determine the outcome of our action to our choices we make. How we deal with them will also determine the outcome of the solution and how people will respond to your choices you make. Are we going to turn and run from our choices that we have made or are we going to stand tall and face them like a human being that we were created as mortal human being, that is not perfect in anyway shape or form?

This is where the problems start that need to be fixed in America. We need to step up, face our mistakes and admit our wrong doings, when we have done wrong in the sight of the people and God in our own action. You’re not fooling anyone but yourself, because in the end we all are going to have to answer to all those sins that we did upon this earth. 

Let me tell you it is better to take care of your sins now than waiting on the other side and having to face Heavenly Father, because he will be asking you about everything you have done on this earth. He will replay your past, present, and future for you and he will ask you, “Why didn’t you take care of this problem there?” For me and my mortal soul, I’d rather have a clear conscience when I go to heaven to meet my maker, than have to tell him I haven’t taken care of the problem; because that will be one more strike against me.

 Stop to think about your life right now. Is there any wrong doing that you have not taken care of yet? To this question if the answer is “Yes,” then I suggest you take care of that problem now before you move on with your life. As you complain about this question, start thinking about those around you. What is it about really, unconditional love, this is what the Savior Jesus Christ taught all the time he was upon this earth? Love for your enemy, love your neighbor, love for the person sitting next to you, love for Heavenly Father and love for your Savior Jesus Christ. Isn’t this what life should be about, is unconditional love for one another?

Deal with those choices you make today, and face up to your own mistakes, and stop blaming world around you for your own mistakes you have made in this life. We are not perfect; we are all going to make choices in our lives whether they are right or wrong. We made the choice ourselves, live with the choice you made. 

Change What is Broken

Stop Blaming the World for your poor Choices you made.

Start by Living UP to the choices you make.

There is no one to blame, but yourself for the choices you have made.

Do not point any fingers at anyone, not even God, but yourself.

Before moving on with your life,

You will find the power within yourself, if you seek deep within your soul,

You will find you have less haters, more lovers, and greater peace in yourself.

We are all human beings living in an imperfect world that is governed by mortal laws that in no way are perfect. Nothing in this world is perfect and never will be unless we as mortal man change our ways and begin to face up to the imperfect world we live in. We need to accept our mistakes and take what is coming to us now because the judgement of God the Father is greater than any mortal law. My advice to the world is to accept your choices you made, face your guilt and take what is coming to you in this mortal world and face God in the end to let him be your final judge for your choices you made. However you deal with it upon this earth remember this one thing.

God loves us all no matter what we have done; but He cannot fix the problems from our choices we start. The fixing lies within ourselves by admitting the guilt to our own problems. When America can realize this as a whole, people just maybe, we can begin to heal those wounds that have been scarred by the wrong You and I have done in this imperfect world we live in. Think about these words and what I have said to you, and step back to realize the problem that lies within ourselves; not within other people to blame for our own problems, but ourselves is the problem that needs to be fixed inside of us and the choices we make in this imperfect world we live in. 

It starts right here with you owning up to your own wrong doing. 

This is how AMERICA will be put back together as a STRONG NATION AGAIN.

ONE NATION UNDER GOD, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL.”